Snow on May 1st? The icing on the what?
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It’s been a long winter and the river’s still blown out.  At least I am cognizant there are others who feel the same way as me.

Guess I’ll fire up the kerosene heater in the garage and work on installing the fishfinder on my aluminum boat.  Maybe I’ll go crazy and open up the doors, pull out the lawnchairs, crack a Cow and really creep out the neighbors. Or maybe I’ll just come back inside reeking of kerosene, sit on the couch with my pale family, and flip through the channels looking for fishing shows from places like Belize where there’s fairy-tale blue water and people with sun-kissed skin and white teeth.

What my wife is getting for our anniversary
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Finally, some genius has come up with a bacon-scented perfume. Read all about it:

Time article on bacon-scented perfume

I wrap my appetizers in bacon; why not wrap my loving wife in that scintillating scent?

Unfortunately, because of the aforementioned story, I also discovered the bacon gun, the bacon bikini, and the bacon apple pie.  God bless America! I have now lost the better part of an evening to my obsession with bacon.  I may have to visit a facility to deal with my bacon addiction soon.  I hope they have a breakfast bar.

Hackle hairstyles: beauty products at the fly shop??
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I found this video on Fox News.  Apparently, American Idol judge and Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler has inspired feathery hairstyles for women that are sending beauticians to the fly shop for hackle.  Maybe next pheasant season I should weave some downed birds into my hair and wear my prey in a celebration of the hunt.  I could be a trendsetter.

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com

Goal-setting for the fisherman
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Where I would like to be in a couple of weeks (actually, I’d like to be there right now, but I’m being realistic since the doors are still probably frozen shut on the place I store my boat).

Scoring deals at Wholesale Sports
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Wholesale Sports is one of my favorite stores in Fargo because it’s not the over-inflated ego of our local sporting goods titan’s statues of U.S. Presidents or ferris wheels inside the building, and it’s not the cheap tackle of Walmart.

From this weekend’s pass through the aisles, my haul looks something like this:

2 Plano Pro Latch 3650 tackle boxes, $2.66 on sale and part of a buy one get one free special, reg. $4.59 apiece,
1 Bianchi Accumold holster for 1911, $19.99, on sale from $29.99,
and 2 20 ct. bags of root beer 4″ Yamamoto grubs, on sale for $4.00 each from $6.00.

Let’s see, do the math and I paid roughly 31 dollars for 51 dollars worth of stuff. Not bad for a 20 minute pass through the store.

MN ice fishermen catch scuba diver on Lake Waconia
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A story from the Twin Cities area of Minnesota:

Minnesota Ice Fishermen Catch Scuba Diver on Lake Waconia: MyFoxTWINCITIES.com

Ice fishing vehicles, pt. 3: motorized skiing
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Another in my series of ideas for getting around on the ice:

I wonder if you could build a hitch at the bottom of the motor frame and attach a rope to a sled? 

I think I prefer either the hovercraft or the awesome tracked vehicle I have already reviewed, but this one is probably far cheaper and would burn more calories.

Animal weather prognostication: how about badgers instead of groundhogs?
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Somewhere in my Internet travels in the last few days, I came across the nugget of information that weather prognostication by animals (a la Punxsatawney Phil) is a tradition that came from Germany. And in Europe, they didn’t have groundhogs, so they used badgers.  How they used them remains the compelling question.

Having seen the myriad of pictures of people holding up Phil the Groundhog, I shudder to think of what might happen if someone tried that with a badger.  I think the Americans who chose groundhogs for Groundhog Day chose a slightly more affable animal. 

Happy Groundhog Day!

Jesse Ventura feels violated by TSA procedures
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Jesse Ventura, former governor of Minnesota, has filed a lawsuit in federal court against the TSA.  Good.  I’m glad someone is keeping the pressure on the TSA to change its policies.  In a previous post I gave my reasons for preferring profiling over body-scanning every Tom, Dick, and Grandma.  

How would you like to be the TSA employee to tell Jesse Ventura he needs a pat-down?  I think you might be on the receiving end of a smack-down.  Body scan might become body slam!  (Oh, I have way too much fun with words!)

I think there’s a reason “gate rape” was voted the word of the year by the Urban Dictionary.

The mythical gun that fires itself
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As a shooter and former firearms trainer, it really irks me to see stories in the news that indicate guns firing by themselves, as if they suddenly come to life.  Case in point — headline from the Associated Press: Two Wounded at Los Angeles School When Gun in Backpack Fires.  Now, the story seems to be that the gun fired when the backpack was dropped.  There is no mention of the make and model of gun, so it is hard to speculate how that might happen.  My point is that it probably had help.  Most modern guns need a very deliberate sequence of action to fire.  Yet the press continues to report these incidents as if guns are magical, self-operating devices with murderous urges.  

The other genre of guns-firing-by-themselves stories involves the classic “the gun fired when I was cleaning it” variety.  A similar theme was reported in a news story I read yesterday in my own region of the country.  The introductory sentence of the article goes something like this: “A Grand Forks resident was cited this morning for discharging his firearm within city limits after he accidentally shot himself in his home while attempting to move his handgun.”  The story goes that the man was cleaning his apartment in the wee hours of the morning and when he moved his handgun, it fired, striking him in the hand.  The story reports the man’s first name was Darwin.

GUNS DO NOT FIRE THEMSELVES.  Accidental discharges are certainly (remotely) possible, but are mostly due to negligence.  I have heard a story, for instance, in which a man shot himself in the leg with a single action revolver because he had it stored in the console of his pickup in a sock.  Evidently, in the process of things moving around with the gun in the console, the single action hammer was cocked back, and when the man moved some other things around in the console, he caught the trigger in the fabric of the sock and fired it.  Knowing the full context in that story, it is somewhat believable, but the person who shot himself was certainly negligent in how he was storing a loaded gun, as was the high school kid in Los Angeles.  

Stories I generally approach with suspicion are the ones where police officers and/or security guards cleaning their weapons at home experience accidental discharges.  Those people have obviously been trained to know better, and what I usually envision behind those stories is either boredom or drunkenness leading to quick-draw practice or other unsafe stunts that lead to the discharge.

I hope for a day when the mainstream media writes gun stories with factual information and avoids personifying and/or demonizing mechanical objects.