As you may know my husband Jerry and I own a busy retail taxidermy business as well as one of the best taxidermy schools in the nation.  Frequently things that I see as normal, aren’t really all that normal to the average person though.

I have laughed at other occupations before and then had to stop myself because, well our business is to stuff dead things…THAT is weird in itself. I understand the art form that taxidermy is but I have to realize that other people do not share that understanding. I have become  jaded or something, but recently  something that happened that  was weird even for ME!

My daughters Kelley and Jenny came to the shop to visit me and we were in my office, which faces the street. There are large windows along the street and since it is the main drag through town I usually lock the front door to keep the strange-o’s waiting so I can decide if I want to open the door, holler for back-up, my gun or just leave the door locked and pretend I can’t see them.

Jerry had just started a meeting with two customers, so the door was unlocked and we were waiting for the mail gal to bring the daily pile of bills. The girls were facing the window and I was talking with them when they both locked their eyes on to a man coming across the street. I turned my head mid sentence and took in the scene thinking he was just coming across so he could  step on to the sidewalk and go wandering down the street. He was  about 62, tall, black, mostly toothless had wild hair and was wearing a old shirt over a fishnet shirt….yep I did say fishnet, and sandals with black socks and hadn’t bathed in a while…a LONG while. NOT our usual taxidermy client.

We watched in fascination as he started to open the door. It is a heavy door, so takes a bit of time. He got it open and dragged his awkward, heavy suitcase through the door. I smiled at him and asked if I could help him, although slightly miffed that he didn’t read the NO SOLICITING sign. I couldn’t imagine what he was selling in that suitcase but I was busy and didn’t want whatever he had.

He walked to my desk and said he wasn’t selling anything and leaned toward me…gaaak…my nostrils started screeching…he needed a bath REALLLLY bad. “How much does it cost to do a full body mount?” He asked.

“Unhuh, pardon me?” I asked attempting to let some air squeak out of my nose without being rude.

The girls both stepped back a little trying to be polite but not wanting to be any closer than the had to.

“How much does it cost to do a full body mount?” He said again a little louder.

“Well, it depends on the size of the animal,” I said.

He held up his hand a little higher than knee level and said “About this size.”

I started to give him the usual speech about skinning and prices and so forth thinking he was talking about something he would bring in during hunting season or in the future.

THEN HE POINTED AT HIS SUITCASE!!!

Silence followed…..a lot of silence….

My daughters and I  turned our eyes but not our heads and time stood still as we looked at the suitcase…I imagine our eyes looked like some creepy 1960′s horror movie closeup with just the ticking of the clock for sound….tick tock tick tock  tick tock…I’m sure you get it.

I quickly stood and walked around the desk and told him I would get our manager to help him, I had no idea what was in that suitcase and since he said “body” I was kind of freaking a little. Who or what was in there?

I walked briskly, back to the workshop and called Buddy over to me. Waving my hands to signal that he needed to hurry. Well maybe flapping like a dodo bird describes my appearance better.

Buddy came over to me and walked with me to the  front office. The smell was like a smack in the face, so Buddy introduced himself to the man and had him follow him back through the front door to the side of the building.

Shortly after Buddy took the man outside, I chanced a peek at the situation. I looked out of the door and when I did I was shocked! It was SO sad!  This poor man had been given this  lab to take care of and it died. The man was so distraught that he packed it into the suitcase and started to try to find someone to help him. He had taken it all over town and it had dies the day before. so for over 24 hours he had been dragging this dog around…wow

He asked us to take the dog in and he would pay to have it mounted. He said money was no object but I am still not so sure what he was going to tell the folks he was dog sitting for! “Hi, about your dog….”

Buddy handled that man with courtesy and kindness even though the situation was really strange and uncomfortable.

Buddy and the boys bagged the dog up and then put it into the freezer and wrote up his paperwork

Later I found out that the man had been smoking dope  and even had a toke in the parking lot after everyone went inside then he trudged along back down the road with his smelly suitcase….

We have the dog in the freezer and will probably never see that guy again.

Some things make you say…hmmmmmmmmmm

 

 

 

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