I’m sure when you stumbled across the title of this piece, you had two quick thoughts. If not don’t finish reading any of this and move on to the comics section of your favorite newspaper.

No, really! You had to have had at least one thought – “He ain’t telling me nothing new! All politicians are out to lunch!” Yes, this is true and I’m so glad you could join me. But what about the other thought?

Why should outdoor sportsmen beware of what the Washington clueless are doing? Once again, if me even prompting you doesn’t at least make you go “Aha!”, then maybe you should turn to the obituaries and see if you are listed there. (Hint, they list them in alphabetical order)

Look, there’s a lot going on in Washington right now, that to the untrained eye appears to concern only those who think Al-Quaida is a breakfast cereal, global warming is going to kill us and there aren’t any Americans wanting to work anymore, so we must allow 12 – ????? million illegal immigrants to stay here so we don’t starve to death.

What’s this got to do with outdoor sports? Everything really but I’m going to save most of that for another editorial coming your way soon.

Let’s scratch the surface just a bit.

My good friend Judy sent me an email of which I promptly read. I promptly read her emails because I have never gotten one from her before that didn’t make me either laugh real loud or get angry and then laugh real loud.

This email was a link to a story in the Washington Post by Juliet Eilperin called, “Interior Department in 9 Words or Less”. The Interior Department is headed up by former Idaho Governor Dirk Kempthorne.

Forget the fact that we are at war with terrorists around the globe, forget that the price of gas has reached a nationwide average of $3.14 per gallon, forget that there is an immigration bill that could be the final nail in the coffin that sinks the United States forever into just another one of those countries inhabited by 162 different nationalities all demanding the same thing and that isn’t “One Nation Under God”, forget all that. The Interior Department is in need of a creed.

This is not a joke but get a load of this. This is what his staff came up with. Mind you this was something that he wanted to be able to print on the back of his employee’s ID card.

“In our commitment to uphold the highest standards, we affirm these core values: integrity, respect, stewardship, and excellence. Respect: We treat all people with civility, dignity, and professionalism. Integrity: We are honest, ethical, and fair, adhering at all times to the letter and spirit of the law. Stewardship: We serve our nation and its people by managing responsibly the resources entrusted to our care. Excellence: We expect world-class performance and we strive for improvement in all we do.”

This of course wouldn’t do probably because Kempthorne didn’t require all staff members to attend 38 hours of special training, at a cost to taxpayers of several hundred thousand dollars, in order to recognize how big an employee ID card is. Instead of special classes, he told them to shorten it to 9 words or less. Here it is!

“Stewardship for America with Integrity and Excellence.”

Wow! Do I feel better! I was beginning to believe that something was really wrong with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. All this time I thought they were becoming so political they didn’t know how to do their jobs which are supposed to be based on science.

I also thought they really did believe that the gray wolf had any effect on elk or that they even killed rancher’s livestock.

I thought that some of their staff who have been harassing hunters and landowners in South Dakota did it because their were copying their higher-ups and inserting politics and personal agendas into their jobs where science and upholding the laws are supposed to rein.

I also was beginning to believe that the USFWS feared animal rights groups like HSUS, PETA and Defenders of Animals and couldn’t make sound decisions based on what they had learned in college and from experience in the field.

No, no, no! For those of you who were beginning to believe that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service was a waste of taxpayer money, you can sleep better tonight knowing that all is well because the Interior Department and all of its employees have a new creed – “Stewardship for America with Integrity and Excellence.”

Stay tuned for Part II of this debate when I show you how our out of touch and out to lunch congressional representatives are going to save hunting, fishing, trapping and all our other outdoor pursuits (Hint: They don’t know it yet but they do know how much money they pay themselves.)

Tom Remington

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