Dad gummit! I knowd this be a nice place to live and pretty soon I can stop working and just make money off my investment in the United States government! Yahooooooooooooo!

We got hosed out of a starting figure of a cool $700 billion and the feds are yelling for more. Along with that the socialist left in Congress, meaning 95% of all of them, are screaming for another stimulus package.

But for all us supposed dummies living in America, here’s what Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said about being raped by Congress.

Meanwhile, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson provided an update on how the rescue package is being implemented. He stressed that, while huge amounts of public funds have been allocated to save troubled financial institutions, ultimately there should be no cost for taxpayers.

“This is an investment, not an expenditure, and there is no reason to believe that this program will cost taxpayers anything,” said Henry Paulson.

Paulson says funds are being used to purchase assets that will be sold at a later date, allowing the government to recoup money spent.

Golly gee, Jed! I reckon that if the goobmint just prints up some more money and helps these poor businesses out, soon we be makin thousands and thousands a dollars. Soon me and the little woman can buy that farm we always wanted!

It’s a wonder life!

Tom Remington

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