Being Prepared To Thwart A Home Invasion

I’m prepared, I got kettles of hot oil over each entrance into the home, my moat is filled with caustic soda, I have ten bull mastiffs, each one was brutally beaten by a thug dressed up like a federal BATF asswipe..I have pounds of C-4 plastic all around the walkways, I have TNT stuffed every where around here, covered with epoxy and sixteen penny nails…I have spiked pits covered in the yard with fake lawn, trip wires with percussion grenades in the shrubs, all the vehicles are wired with explosives…I got one big red button next to my key board..Ocoma ona Obama..