We’re an odd lot aren’t we? Try this one out. With all due respect, you’re a moron! We’ve come to the conclusion that as long as we classify what we are about to say in some rank of dismissal of truths, it’s simply divine to call someone a name.
Meaning no disrespect but your face belongs on the south end of a northbound jackass! Phew! I got that one off and they can’t accuse me of saying bad things because I didn’t “mean” any disrespect.
Your mother wears combat boots! Remember that insult? Never mind.
Here’s a good one that sends shivers up and down my spine when I hear it; “The fact of the matter is….” Get it? If you want to convince yourself that your lies are truths and that by labeling your lie as a matter of fact, do what too large a percentage of speaking humans do. Begin your lie with, “The fact of the matter is.” After all, how can you argue with a matter of fact?
So here we go! With all due respect, the fact of the matter is, I am a white man and therefore I can write better and probably make better decisions in life than any black person or anyone who eats grits and hog jowls.
Oh! You didn’t care for that? Why is that? Am I a racist? Did I offend you? Well, excuse me but meaning no further disrespect, the fact of the matter is you took my statement out of context!
Ok, ok! So you didn’t take my statement out of context but the fact of the matter is, I misspoke! Yeah! That’s it. I misspoke! I wasn’t wrong. The fact of the matter is, I misspoke.
Apologize? Apologize? Hey, pal! With all due respect here, the fact of the matter is I chose my words improperly. (Cool. I’ll get em on this one)
Are you to judge me because one time in my life, several years ago, I miss chose my misspoken words and you took them out of context? With all due respect, SIR (that always throws them for a loop too), you’re still a moron.
Whatever! Meaning no disrespect but the fact of the matter is you’re a stupid jerk who wouldn’t know the difference between fact and fiction anyway. I guess I’ll go back to being a blogger. It’s not like I am being considered for something like a Supreme Court Justice or something.
Tom Remington
