Not that this story really has any bearing on global warming because we are all going to freeze to death soon, but it’s the idea that we as humans have become so consumed with global warming, as caused by man, that we actually consider that getting rid of man is the cheapest way to reduce carbon dioxide emissions.

The United Nations, whom we all love and trust with our lives, says that 40% of all pregnancies in the world are unintended. We also realize that everyone we send to Washington was a mistake but we don’t seriously considered killing them all off………do we?

So, the answer to our man-made global warming problems is simple. Just stop those unwanted pregnancies……..er, before or after? Gosh! It didn’t say exactly now did it? But is that really the cheapest way? Sounds to me like there’s a lot of money involved with planning parenthood and getting rid of unwanted babies. Isn’t is cheaper just to start getting rid of anyone beyond a useful age? Depending of course on what part of the globe you come from. A bullet or a hypo needle I think is a lot cheaper than all that other stuff.

If we formulated a plan it could be kind of like a quota system depending on how much CO2 we need to reduce. If we are having a good year, meaning reduced CO2s, more older people would have a chance to live. If we also factored in handicapped people, both mentally and physically, the older citizens of better health could be spared. What good is a high maintenance kid? Too much CO2 to worry about.

Hopefully this action – we could call it Cap and Kill – would resolve our global warming problems.

But wait, wait, wait! Global cooling has now taken over the planet. This must mean now we need to find ways to put more people on this planet to increase the carbon output in order to warm us back up. Think of the prospects of twice as many politicians having to go to Washington.

We need to act now!

Tom Remington

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