The wife’s brother had this big idea to go to the Royals game for Father’s Day. Ok, not an obviously terrible idea except:
- It was a 1:00pm day game
- It’s June 21 in Eastern Kansas
- On average, it’s like 183 degrees on June 21 in Eastern Kansas
- The Royals really suck
- It was against the Cardinals who always fill the stadium with their idiot fans
- Royals “manager” Trey Hillman publicly stated that he would pitch to Albert Pujols as some type of manliness-pain threshold-test
Of course you know what happened. The 7 months pregnant wife was uncomfortable in the 98 degrees with 75% humidity and no shade. We left in the 5th. Better yet, Pujols had 2 homers, 6 RBIs and NO WALKS. Apparently Trey won by losing? Happy Father’s Day btw!
So this evening I was checking up on my favorite baseball writer’s blog to see if he had any gems about the 3-0 series we just lost in comically bad fashion. I found this post:
*Brilliant reader Jeff brings up a completely unrelated point that I actually spent a great deal of time thinking about Thursday night. With the score tied in the top of the ninth, with Cleveland’s Kerry Wood pitching, Royals manager Trey Hillman decided to pinch-hit for first batter Tony Pena Jr. Well, it only makes sense. You need to do whatever you can to get your leadoff hitter on base in the ninth.
But here’s what Trey did: He pinch hit Luis Hernandez. For those of you that don’t know: Luis Hernandez can’t hit. No, I’m serious, he can’t hit. Best I can tell, you couldn’t pick Luis Hernandez out of a lineup filled with Tony Penas. Hernandez is a lifetime .246/.292/.316 hitter … in the MINOR LEAGUES. To be fair to him, Luis Hernandez never claimed the ability to hit, he (like Tony Pena) is a good defensive shortstop and his value is as a late inning defensive replacement and day-game-after-a-night-game stand-in. There are worse things.
This is the man Trey Hillman decided to use as a pinch hitter to lead off the ninth inning with a tie score. Trey did this even though he had Mike Jacobs and Mark Teahen on the bench, both left-handed hitters, both a million times better than Luis Hernandez and both (as Jeff pointed out) hit home runs off of Kerry Wood just a couple of weeks earlier in the Royals stunning ninth inning comeback. I stared at the television blankly, like I was looking at one of those magic eye puzzles and I couldn’t see the sailboat.
My friend Joel Goldberg was filling in for the hoarse Ryan Lefebvre as TV announcer, and so it was left to him to try to explain this mystery — it was like asking a Coca Cola employee from another department to explain the strategies behind New Coke. I thought Joel tried hard: He suggested that Trey was probably “saving” Teahen (and, presumably, Jacobs) for a situation when they might drive in a run.
Here’s the whole piece.