So today I heard that there was this game called “hockey” that looks like a chaotic and random version of soccer. Apparently it matters to Canadians and some scattered pockets of people in Russia and the Northeastern US. I thought I’d see if I can figure out what all the fuss was about. During the pre-game the announcer declared this the, “… most important game ever.” Wow, now I’m interested. Apparently the Canadians have a guy named Crosby who is good. The Americans have a goalie who is good. I’ll be watching them.
So after watching the first of three halves (?!?) I decided that it was impossible to find this Crosby guy (or any other non-goalie) because people are randomly entering and leaving the game constantly. I’m pretty sure each player was 6 foot tall, 195 lbs, and white anyway. Goals seem to be mostly a collection of good timing and random luck. Occasionally a shot will result in a rebound and occasionally that rebound will bounce to the right part of the scrum in front of the goal. That rebound occasionally finds its way past the goalie when someone in the scrum hits it, kicks it, or accidentally redirects it. Usually you can’t see what actually happened until the slow motion replay.
I got bored and went outside to shoot my bow. If the Canadians care about hockey I’m happy to let them have it.
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