FOR THIS MAN, BEING CALLED AWESOME IS NO JOKE
By Karen McCowan

The Register-Guard

Published: Monday, Dec 6, 2010 05:00AM

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Eugene-Springfield, meet Captain Awesome.

Not that the former Douglas Allen Smith Jr. is a newcomer to Lane County.

He was born here in 1983. He graduated from Willamette High School in 2002.

But he officially became Captain Awesome only last month, when a Lane County Circuit Court judge approved his name change petition.

And his new first name is no title, he made clear in a recent interview.

“Hi! I’m Captain,” he said, making this story even more fun to write. Journalists refer to subjects by last name only on second and subsequent references. So, that’s Awesome!

I’ve been to Eugene, Oregon. I’m not really that surprised. You can read the rest here.

Cover page of Lisa Henry Bowen’s 40-page tome.
When a child named Curtis Bowen was slapped by his teacher at Martin Luther King Jr., Elementary School, no one really heard about it. Except for President Obama, Vice President Biden, their wives, three senators, and more than 20 other officials.

They all were CC’ed on the whopping 40-page letter that Curtis’ mother, Lisa Henry Bowen, sent to school district superintendent John Covington. In it, Bowen makes mind-boggling demands for reparations. One recipient called the letter “one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen” and leaked it to the Internet. And Lisa Henry Bowen even created her own web site for the occasion: www.CurtisGotSlapped.com.

Lisa Henry Bowen, who copyrights her name and her son’s name throughout the letter, kicks it off by identifying herself as the “intellectual property owner” of fourth grader Curtis Bowen (C). She alleges that Curtis was caught horse playing and was slapped by a teacher named Ms. Curry. Lisa Henry tried to report the teacher to social services for child abuse, but was denied as Curtis’ skin wasn’t broken.

That sent Lisa Henry into a spiral of outrage. She calls Ms. Curry “one audacious white bitch with ‘balls’”, and then conducts some informal gonad comparisons. “I happen to have some big ‘balls’ too. And I ain’t afraid to use them.” (All emphasis hers, throughout.)

Mrs. Bowen uses her balls-to-the-wall logic to devise a way for the school district to repay her. She claims that Curry slapped 1/4 of Curtis’ “million dollar face.” Therefore, Lisa Henry encloses a homemade bill for a quarter of a million dollars. The $250K bill is issued to five educational entities, so she’s really demanding more than $1 million.

And that’s just page eight!

Don’t worry… it get’s even better. Take a look at the whole piece here.

Click here. Seriously, it’s worth it.

Anyway, apparently Kentucky is being unseated as the long time location because an ice storm has left too many limbs on the ground. I can only assume the contestants are unlikely to run too many marathons in their free time.

According to The Professional Kennel Club Kentucky will lose approximately $3.5 million from the 7000 or so expected visitors. For those mathematically challenged, that’s an average economic impact of $500.00 per visitor or 6 months pay.

We can only hope that Kentucky is able to put this behind them. Maybe Ashley Judd could help?

A Missouri man who was teaching his girlfriend about firearm safety on Friday pointed a gun at his head to prove a point and accidentally shot himself dead.

The Jefferson County Sheriff said that James Looney, 40, of Imperial, Mo., was teaching his girlfriend about the different safety mechanisms on guns by putting guns to his head and asking her if they would go off. The first two guns did not go off, but the third gun actually fired.

The rest is here.

The Paris suburb of Levallois-Perret and its conservative council lies next door to middle-class and Socialist-run Clichy-la-Garenne. Daily, thousands of motorists pass between the two, heading into and out of the capital.

This week, after deciding that the D909 route brought too much congestion to his town, Levallois mayor Patrick Balkany declared his portion of it a one-way street, speeding traffic into neighbouring Clichy.

Balkany’s Clichy counterpart, Gilles Catoire, was not amused, and promptly issued a decree of his own, declaring his section of the D909 one-way as well, only this time in the opposite direction.

The rest here.