Twas The Night Before Deer Season
 

Twas the night before deer season and all through the woods

not a creature was stirring, they were sleeping just as they should

All the tree stands were hung in the trees with care

in the hope that a big buck would soon be there

All the hunters were now in their beds

With visions of big game dancing in their heads

With my hunting buddies in their bunks, and I in my camoflauge cap

We had just settled in for our pre-opening morning nap

When out in the field arose such a noise

I sprang out of bed and stepped on rovers new dog toys

To the screen door I flew like a covey of flushed partridges

on the way I grabbed my gun and a box full of cartridges

The moon shone on the new fallen snow

and sparkled like headlights in the eye of a doe

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

But old Joe driving his Chevrolet across the field chasing 8 mule deer

With Joe being a bad driver, not being able to handle a stick

I new that I had to do something quick

More rapid than ducks on the wing, his curses they came

He whistled and shouted and yelled at them in vain

Stop you silly mule deer right now

or I’ll go get my truck with the snow plow

He chased them past the porch and the fence stone wall

He yelled I’ll get my 30-06 dad gum you all

Just as group Wild Turkey jumped to the sky

Old Joe drove at them and began to cry

Up on the old barn they flew

old Joe in his Chevrolet , you watch it or I’ll get you too

By then I saw my hunting buddies had put on their camoflauge suits

They were stumbling over each other trying to get their hunting boots

As I drew my gun in my hand and was turning around

I heard something that was a familiar sound

He was dressed all in green from his head to his toe

When I looked at him I knew it wasn’t Old Joe

I looked into his eyes and it was Game Warden Brad

He looked at me and boy was he mad

His cheeks were bulging and his nose blood red

He took off his hat and steam was rising from his head

His mouth was drawn up tight like a compound bow

and the beard on his chin was beginning to glow

He held a stump of a cigar in his teeth

and by now the steam off his head encircled him like a wreath

He had a broad butt and a fat belly

and if you stood close to him you’d know he was real smelly

Just then Old Joe drove up next to the ranger

It was right then I knew we were all in danger

Joe jumped out of the car and gave the warden a wink

turned his head towards me and said boy does he stink

The warden spoke not a word, but went straight to his work

he filled out the ticket and said, here you jerk

Joe folded the ticket up real neat

He knew if he didn’t cool it he would soon be in the warden’s back seat

Game Warden Brad sprang to his cruiser with care

and thought to himself, that old Joe sure is a grumpy old bear

But I heard the warden exclaim ere he drove out of site

You boys behave yourselves, because I don’t want to have to come back here tonight.

 

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