Participating in the “The Craziest Frickin’ Day Of Your Life” sounded like an excellent way to celebrate my 19th, errrrr, 41st birthday.
What Warrior Dash Is
What is Warrior Dash you ask? Similar to the event I wrote about in Bowhunting Fitness – 5K Obstacle Run, Warrior Dash combines a 3.1 mile run with various obstacles. Compared to that run, though, Warrior Dash is on steroids. Here are a few excerpts from Warrior Dash to get a sense of what it is all about.
Why do we get warrior helmets?
They’re awesome.
How do I train for Warrior Dash?
1. Day one: run as far as you can. Go home. Day two: do the same thing.
2. Find the dirtiest pond in your neighborhood and snorkel in it – in your slippers, without goggles.
3. Practice your climbing and crawling skills at your local jungle gym. Ignore the small children and parental glares.
4. Do not shower or shave for weeks in order to obtain a true Warrior look.
Are there showers available after the challenge?
There will be a fire truck and hoses to help spray you down, but stay home if you don’t like getting dirty.
Most races do (blank). Why doesn’t Warrior Dash do it that way?
Warrior Dash is not most races. Warrior Dash does what Warrior Dash wants to do.
Warrior square was a muddy, mucky mess.
The Obstacles
Here’s a link to the course map for as long as it is available, although the obstacle sequence and course were slightly changed just before the Dash. Besides the one ever present and over abundant general impediment, mud, obstacles included:
Splintering Spools – An impenetrable line of large wooden cable spools. Up, between and over.
Walk The Plank – Cross a muddy ravine on a plank.
Junkyard Jam – Scale the cars to continue along the course. I could leap up on the hoods or trunks, but they were just high enough for my short legs that I had to pause and regain my balance each time.
Satan’s Slope – Actually, going down the slimy slope wasn’t even a challenge. Going back up elevation was the tough part.
Tunnels of Terror – Tubes big enough to navigate through with rocks in the bottom to gouge your knees.
Paintball “Hogan’s Alley” with Barrier Entrance – Scale a 36″ round drainage pipe with an immediate steep down hill followed by a course through paintball city. Scaling the 36″ pipe was my toughest physical challenge. I could only jump to about the 11 o’clock position and had to drag myself the rest of the way over.
Slithering Swamp – Water and mud just deep enough to suck the energy out of your legs.
Warrior Wall – Scale a series of 40″ wooden walls. Unlike the drainage pipe these were easily scaled with a “saw horse” type hand-assisted leap.
Hay Fever – Climb a hill of straw bales. I was most fearful of this obstacle – reminiscent of my allergy to the stuff and my days growing up in Kansas working in the hay fields. Turns out it was a cinch to scale one side and slide down the other.
Cargo Climb – Ascend and descend a cargo net over an obstacle. This is easy right? No so fast. The net’s rope moves, sags and shifts under your weight and attempts to scale it. Having climbed cargo nets in order to return to ship after mid-ocean swim call, I was prepared for this one – steady as she goes and be sure of my next grip or step.
Tire Obstacle – The normal old “run through tires” routine.
Hell’s Hills – The most mentally challenging obstacle for me. I don’t know how many 3-12′ hills I ran over. Just as I thought I’d crushed them the course looped through another section.
Warrior Roast – Two fiery speed bumps with mud pits before, after and between. Leaping over the fire was easy. Remaining upright in the slime pre & post leap was the hard part.
I’m between Warrior Roasts.
A close up of Warrior Roast.
Muddy Mayhem – Navigate through the mud and slime under the barbed wire. I chose not to dive in, but buddy Roger did.
Doing It
At 11 minutes in I was approaching Warrior Wall, my chest was on fire and my upper body felt like ragged jelly. I judged I had probably completed a mile. I couldn’t hear the band anymore and desperately wanted some musical motivation. By the two mile point I’d started trying to motivate those who had begun walking. Then Hell’s Hills beat me down mentally and I uttered barely intelligible words to them.
I finished in 23:26:65, number 12 out of 258 in my age group and number 259 of 5,246 total runners for the day. Both in the top 5%. By goodness, I can live with that and I say, “I am a Warrior.” As Roger and I walked to the showers I heard someone say, “I have a lot of medals, but this one means the most to me.” I second that.
Just after Muddy Mayhem I approach the finish line.
Buddy Roger and I pose with our medals (can you find them?).
Overall
Originally scheduled for one day the event sold out QUICK. When a second day was added it sold out nearly as quickly. Warrior Dash was well run including off-site parking and shuttles. Packet pick up, which I dreaded due to the shear volume of people, was smooth – there was one person in front of me. Participants included 66 year old females, 77 year old males, a female 39 year old with a gender winning time of 20:20:95, a group of less-than-athletic women assisting their inflatable team mate and many, many more. I recommend Warrior Dash to anyone looking for something athletically different. It was a blast.
Donated shoes are cleaned and provided to those in need.
happy hunting, dv
If you liked this blog you may like the following:
- Half Marathon Down
- All In – Registered For The Wisconsin Half Marathon
- 7 Miles In – Training For A Half Marathon
- Get In Shape – Keep It Simple Bowhunter
- Of Bowhunters And Runners – Extreme
- dv’s List Of Archery and Bowhunting Don’ts
- Bowhunting Fitness – 5K Obstacle Run
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